Before you hit send

They may see five words.Do not spend them on nothing.

“If you begin an email with hope you are well, you are one of a million.” People read on phones, and sometimes five words is all they get. This runs the episode's eight-step pass over your draft, in its own order — the cheap checks first, because they kill the most drafts.

Paste a draft The other two tools

Inbox9:41

Alex Riveranow
Quick question
Hope you are well, I
Alex Riveranow
My first three exercises
Cherie suggested we connect —

Five words each. One of them spent them on a wish.

Same sender. One of them wasted the only words they had

Your draft lands between four emails that all open the same way. A star needs every check under it. Faked urgency sends the whole email to Spam.

Who it is to

Subject line

One thing you found out about them

Warmth is bought with research, not with pleasantries.

The draft

30 words.

Rule 12. It could run on the front page of the New York Times.Assume it gets forwarded to everyone you know.

Kramon’s before and after are his Bezos openings, word for word. Neither has a subject line on air. The template and urgency drafts are ours.

Red pen

Hope this finds you well! I wanted to reach out because I'm a results-driven self-starter and I'm looking for advice. I would really appreciate the chance to pick your brain.

Generic warmthLabel, not a sceneFaked urgencyThroat-clearing, about you, scaffolding

9:41Their inbox

PrimarySpam

YounowQuick questionHope this finds you well!…One of a million
Jordan P.9:12Quick questionHope this finds you well! I wanted to reach out about
Sam at Nexora8:47Following upHope you're doing well. Just circling back on my last
Taylor R.TueOpportunityI hope this email finds you well. My name is Taylor and
Morgan L.MonHappy summer!Hope you had a great weekend and are enjoying the

All they may ever readHope this finds you well!…

Opened: not yetSubject, no urgency, first five words
Read to the end: not yetNews, about them, no labels, research
Answered: not yetRhythm, length, Rule 12

Fix this first

Personalize the grammar. “Insights from latest meeting” becomes “My insights from our latest meeting.”

Opened

Not yet: The subject line earns the openPersonalize the grammar. “Insights from latest meeting” becomes “My insights from our latest meeting.”
Done: No faked urgency
Not yet: The first five words are not spent on nothingThe opener is generic warmth: “hope this finds you well”. Move it to the sign-off, where it costs the reader nothing, and spend the opening on a specific connection.

Read to the end

Done: Opens with something they do not already know
Not yet: It is about them, not about youThis asks them to teach you: “i'm looking for”. They are not there to teach you — show them what you can do for them.
Not yet: Every adjective about yourself is a sceneLabels doing the work of scenes: “self-starter” and “results-driven”. Each one is a claim you failed to back — run it through Show don't say.
Not yet: One specific thing about them, from researchEmpty. Warmth is bought with research, not with pleasantries. Who do you both know? What would surprise them that you knew?

Answered

Done: Sentence lengths vary
Not yet: Short enough to read on a phoneCut the scaffolding: “i wanted to reach out”. Delete it and just make the ask.
Not yet: Rule 12 — the front page of the New York TimesNot confirmed. Assume it will be forwarded to everyone you know, then decide whether it still sends.

The rewrite brief · copy it out

To: them

Cut:
- “hope this finds you well” — move it to the sign-off.
- 2 labels — self-starter and results-driven — and write the scene instead.
- “i'm looking for” — they are not there to teach you.
- “i wanted to reach out” — just make the ask.

Rebuild it around:
- Find one thing about them worth opening on. Who you both know is the cheapest version.
- Lead with what you can do for them, in one sentence, before any ask.
- Put a “my” or an “our” in the subject line.
- Then read it aloud. Some very short sentences. Some longer.

Then: how will this make them feel? That is the question Kramon asks after drafting, and it is the last one.

Learn it, not just pass it

The stars tell you it is wrong.This is where you find out why.

Nine things to check by hand, and five pairs from the episode — every one of them a before and an after Kramon reads out himself. Read the right-hand column twice; the move is always the same shape.

Check your work0 of 9

Subject line — would they open it? Is there a “my” or an “our” where a definite article is sitting?
First five words — cut any greeting that would survive a find-and-replace of their name
First sentence — does it tell them something they do not already know?
Does it say what you can do for them, before it asks for anything?
Every adjective about yourself — replaced with the scene
One specific thing about them, from research, in the opener or the P.S.
Read it aloud. Some very short sentences. Some longer.
Rule 12 — the front page of the New York Times, or forwarded to everyone you know
Maya Angelou — how will this make them feel?

The whole test, in one sentence: if you followed every rule, the email could only ever be received by that one person. You could not copy it, paste it, and send it to twenty.

Read the pairs

One of a million
Hope you are well.
One in a million
Hi Glenn — Cherie suggested we connect.
The sentiment is not wrong, the position is. Move it to the sign-off, where “Cheers”, “All the best” and “Hope you're well” all mean the same thing and cost the reader nothing.
One of a million
Dear Mr. Bezos, you have transformed industry after industry by changing how people interact with and receive traditional services, whether it be books or the retail experience.
One in a million
Dear Mr. Bezos, I can help Alexa help patients needing personalized follow-up care. A Stanford MD/MBA, I'd greatly appreciate a few minutes to discuss how voice-enabled platforms can transform how we deliver healthcare.
The original opens on two things Bezos already knows. The rewrite is the whole ask in one sentence — and anyone in the organisation reading it can route it in seconds.
One of a million
Like you, I believe AI will change our futures.
One in a million
Like you, I started my entrepreneurial journey very young — not a car-washing business, I bought candy wholesale and retailed it at my school.
“Like you” are the two highest-leverage words in a cold email, and generic “like you” is worse than none — it advertises that you did no work. Who doesn't believe AI will change our futures?
One of a million
I'd love this role because I would learn to do X.
One in a million
Here are the first ten stories I would write for the New York Times.
The most common mistake is making it about you. They are not there to teach you. Tim O'Brien walked into his interview, listed ten story ideas, and became Kramon's first hire — good ideas, and proof of preparation.
One of a million
Insights from latest meeting
One in a million
My insights from our latest meeting
Some people get a thousand emails a day. Personalising the grammar costs two words.

Also from this episode

The stars tell you it is wrong.This is where you find out why.

Two more.Same conversation.