Shout out to the perfectionists

Being bad at thingsis a skill. Practise it.

“Continuous education helps you develop the skill of being bad at things again.” Adulthood rarely lets you be a beginner, and it is hardest with the thing you used to be great at. This plans one small, scheduled, deliberately unimpressive first session.

Step up to the plateThe other two tools
PE · Baseball unit≈ 3 min
Swings

“You’re going to stand here and keep swinging until you hit a ball.”

“I wasn’t embarrassed, cuz I was so determined.”

Cherie, high-school PE, everyone watching

It scores the plan for a first bad attempt, never the talent. Nothing passes by promising to be good.

New, or coming back?

Jean’s viola is as far as she says it on air. The episode ends before she books the first session, so the rest stays blank. The “promising to be good” plan is ours.

At bat: The violaSwings
Still in the dugoutNamed, not started. Put a day on the first session.
A baseball diamond. The ball goes further with every star.foul line: when would you quit?
1 of 3 swings planned.
  • Step up: earnedThe thing, new or back, the fear
  • Book it: not yetA day on session one, someone with you
  • Swing: not yetIt counts if you show up, a quit condition
Fix this first

One small first session, and when. A free audit, one lesson, one trip to the weight room.

Step up
  • Done: Named the thing
  • Done: New, or coming back to it
  • Done: Said what scares you about it
Book it
  • Not yet: The first session has a day on itOne small first session, and when. A free audit, one lesson, one trip to the weight room.
  • Not yet: Somebody is there with youA trainer who plans the session so you don't have to think about it. A teacher who keeps you swinging. A sister.
Swing
  • Not yet: Session one counts if you show upWrite what makes the first session a success. Showing up counts.
  • Not yet: You know when you would let yourself quit“It's also okay to quit.” Jean quit the CFA and never looked back. Decide the condition now, while you are not tired.
Your card · copy it out
FIRST BAD ATTEMPT — THE VIOLA
Coming back to it.

When:          —
It counts if:  —
With:          —
I can quit:    —

The scary part: I don't know if I can even read music anymore. I used to be really good and now I think I would just be terrible.

It's okay to be a bad beginner.
Learn it, not just pass it

Four times they were bad at it.Or scared they would be.

The viola, the batting cage, the weight room and the CFA. Every one is from the episode, and in every one the fix is to lower the bar for session one — not the ambition.

Check your work0 of 8

“That's okay. That's the whole point. It's okay to be a bad beginner.”

Read the pairs
  • The perfectionist

    I used to be really good, and now I think I would just be terrible.

    The beginner

    Shed all the expectations you have of yourself. It was when you were like 16, 17.

    Jean was first chair of the New York Metropolitan Youth Orchestra. Cherie's answer is the whole tool: “That's okay. That's the whole point. It's okay to be a bad beginner.”

  • The perfectionist

    I cannot do this.

    The beginner

    Keep swinging until you hit the ball.

    Cherie in high-school PE baseball — about three minutes at the plate with everyone watching. Her teacher kept her there to build confidence, and she was too determined to be embarrassed.

  • The perfectionist

    I'll figure the weight room out on my own.

    The beginner

    A trainer who designs the session, so all you have to do is turn up.

    Jean had never entered the weight room — “super intimidating.” With a trainer, and working up safely, she now hip thrusts 215 pounds. Take up that space.

  • The perfectionist

    I bought the books, so I have to finish.

    The beginner

    It's okay to quit — when you're tired of it, or you've met the level you wanted.

    You are not learning for a degree. Jean's CFA is the proof it can be fine: she never looked back.

Also from this episode

Two more.Same term.