Get roasted, kindly
They asked to be roasted.Kindly, but roasted.
Three people submitted their profiles and got walked through by someone who spent five years on LinkedIn's Profile team. The same six things get checked every time, in the order a stranger reads them — and two of them are fields most people forget are fields.
Banner
Headline
About
Also empty
Four fields nobody filled. All four of them yours.
Four fields, all of them yours
Six stops, in the order the episode works down a profile. The prizes are the episode’s own ski runs. Clear all three and it is double black diamond.
Name pronunciation
Photo
In the photo
Banner
Where you are
Babysitting counts. Putting what you have beats leaving it blank.
Sections filled in below
Both sample profiles are ours. The headline in the forgotten one, “engaging and connecting people wherever I land”, is the line the episode names as a failure.
Default banner
Jordan AveryNo recording
Engaging and connecting people wherever I land
About is empty
Nothing below the fold
—Run the scan to watch a stranger read your profile, stop by stop.
- Green circle · first look: not yetPronunciation, photo, banner
- Blue square · the headline: not yetTwo or three ideas, only yours
- Black diamond · below the fold: not yetAbout, and the sections under it
Fix this first
Five seconds, and a stranger about to meet you knows how to say your name. Black diamond version: greeting, name, what you do, and a call to action.
Green circle · first look
- Not yet: Your name pronunciation is recordedFive seconds, and a stranger about to meet you knows how to say your name. Black diamond version: greeting, name, what you do, and a call to action.
- Not yet: There is a photo, and everyone can see itA photo only your connections can see is a photo the recruiter searching for you cannot. Make it public.
- Not yet: Smiling, looking at the cameraThe two traits on the profiles that get the most clicks. Strong defaults, not laws — both hosts have broken them on purpose.
- Not yet: Facing into the frameInsider detail: on a phone your body should point into the profile, not off the edge of the screen.
- Not yet: The banner is doing workThe most underused field there is. Proof photos — speaking, awards, handshakes — plus two or three words naming what you are.
Blue square · the headline
- Not yet: The headline is two or three ideasOne idea is thin for the most valuable line on the page.
- Not yet: The headline could only be yours“engaging and connecting people” could be about a million people.
Black diamond · below the fold
- Not yet: The About section is not emptyThe one place on the profile you fully control, and roughly half the room leaves it blank.
- Not yet: It is broken up enough to readShort paragraphs, subheadings, bullets, or emojis that match the line they label.
- Not yet: Written in first personSay I and my. Third person reads like someone else wrote it, because usually something else did.
- Not yet: There is a number in itNumbers are what the eye lands on in a long section. The longer yours is, the more it needs them.
- Not yet: There is a way to reach youAn email, a follow, an ask. Even on its own this is worth having.
- Not yet: The sections below are filled inVolunteering, publications and honors are how a profile gets rich without a career behind it. Babysitting counts — it shows people trust you with their kids.
The fix list · copy it out
Jordan Avery — 13 things to fix Scored 0/100 — Nothing to review yet. - There is a photo, and everyone can see it A photo only your connections can see is a photo the recruiter searching for you cannot. Make it public. - The headline is two or three ideas One idea is thin for the most valuable line on the page. - The banner is doing work The most underused field there is. Proof photos — speaking, awards, handshakes — plus two or three words naming what you are. - The About section is not empty The one place on the profile you fully control, and roughly half the room leaves it blank. - It is broken up enough to read Short paragraphs, subheadings, bullets, or emojis that match the line they label. - Smiling, looking at the camera The two traits on the profiles that get the most clicks. Strong defaults, not laws — both hosts have broken them on purpose. - The headline could only be yours “engaging and connecting people” could be about a million people. - Written in first person Say I and my. Third person reads like someone else wrote it, because usually something else did. - The sections below are filled in Volunteering, publications and honors are how a profile gets rich without a career behind it. Babysitting counts — it shows people trust you with their kids. - There is a number in it Numbers are what the eye lands on in a long section. The longer yours is, the more it needs them. - Your name pronunciation is recorded Five seconds, and a stranger about to meet you knows how to say your name. Black diamond version: greeting, name, what you do, and a call to action. - Facing into the frame Insider detail: on a phone your body should point into the profile, not off the edge of the screen. - There is a way to reach you An email, a follow, an ask. Even on its own this is worth having.
Also from this episode